Everyone is remembering 9/11 on this 8 year anniversary. This made me remember what I was doing on that day. I had just given birth in June and I needed to take my oldest son to the doctor for a checkup. I woke up that morning and I had really bad panic attack. I could not sleep but even worse, I could not leave the house. My husband was very worried. He thought that maybe my Agoraphobia was getting worse. I walked back and forth from my room to my girl's room holding my son.
This ritual went on for 3 hours. My husband left for work and I sat in the center of the bed and waited for the news to start. Yes, I woke up very early. After I watched the news for the morning and saw nothing out of the ordinary. Time went on and the news about the hijackings quickly took center stage. I was floored. I was blown away at the devastation but I no longer felt anxiety. I was relaxed and felt comfortable. I rescheduled the doctor's appointment but I no longer felt like I would die if I left my house. I just could not leave at that point because I am a stickler for scheduling and if I am late, I will not go.
No, the attacks were not anywhere near my home in Texas. Yes, I realized that at the time but I felt so much better once I saw it on the news. I had not had a panic attack like that before. Much of my relief was from the anxiety leaving my body.
The downside was me sitting there feeling joy at a time of such grief.
****This image is of a man who chose to leap from the towers. His leap was an example of the peace I felt after seeing the devastating events unfold. Please read the post on Esquire to understand more about the photo they provided.